"I want to dance always, to be good and not evil, and when it is all over, not to have the feeling that I might have done better." - Ruth St.Denis

I miss dancing...dancing studies that is, not barre exercises. They bore me out. What's the difference between dancing at the barre and in the centre? Well, at the barre, it is only a practice, an exercise. In the centre, it's presentation time. Dance your heart out, the stage is all yours and the audience are out for you to attract.

I know I haven't been updating. Frankly, I don't see the point in updating this blog. It's half-dead already.

I've been down, I know everyone knows that. It's obvious ain't it? It's not only about the results. Failing doesn't really matter to me. Failing the subjects I used to be good at and failing the subjects that I actually studied for, now that's really depressing. I've been having headaches which just keep coming back and I can't sleep at night (insomia??)and I've been feeling really fat and bloated so I'm eating all sorts of healthy food and I'm going CRAZY because I'm not getting my daily intake of sugar and I'm seriously on the verge of loosing control of myself and I'm wishing I could get into a fatal accident or get a terminal illness and am dying. I once dreamt that I was suffering from dementia and boy, the sorrow I had when I woke up to find that in reality, I'm not suffering from anything at all! And I've been really really easy to irritate and I get angry easily and oh, did I mention I've been crying a lot lately? And yada yada yada. "Self-pity is an indulgence" Sister Yu said that in The Bonesetter's Daughter. So. I shan't continue in my self-pitying. What's the point?

I've been trying very very hard not to swear or cuss because I'm not suppose to.Have any idea how hard that is? I can't say the "f" word which I'm so used to saying, I can't make up my own swear phrases to hurt someone, I can't even say any four letter words!!And what's annoying me (to put it across nicely) is the fact that some people say they love God and still swear. What's up with that?

Why do I get so gloomy in the morning? Because I can't stand SOME people in the mornings. Who are these people? Go figure. I shan't say names here.

//sometimesilookatyouandiwonderhowyoucancallyourselfachristianandthatyoulovegodbecausesomethingsyoudototallydisgustmewhatsortofchristianareyouwhenyoudosuchthingsyoudisappointmeseriously...//